Major Mommy

an upside of pregnancy

2005-12-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

The urge to clean. I have cleaned like there is no tomorrow for the past few days. I'm tired of the chaos. The clutter. The horror.

We put out 6 garbage bags today at the curb. We usually put out 2. How does one small family gather so much crap? If I hadn't used it in 3 months...out it went. If I didn't know what it was...out it went. If it was my husband's...out it went. Well not quite to that extent. But close. By the time I had finished I had a small box of things to be donated. The rest was well...garbage. Things I'd never pawn off on anyone (not even my baby sisters...who I usually pawn my unused junk on).

And then came the scrubbing. I put on the gloves and scrubbed. And scrubbed. And scrubbed. Until it all shone. Then I ripped apart the linen closet. And rearranged it completely. I didn't know we had that many towels. Blue ones. Striped ones. Yellow ones. But our bathroom is beige...so everything goes. And then I scrubbed the toilet. And scrubbed. And scrubbed. I figure...if I have to hang my head there for an hour of the day...I may as well make it as clean as possible. I try to keep it very clean...but there is no such thing as a clean enough toilet when you're a nauseous knocked up chick.

My kids helped. Really they did. They pulled all the junk and tossed it in a pile on the floor so I could sort it. Who cares if they continued to pull stuff from sorted piles and put in back in the jumbled mess on the floor. "hmmm....I could swear I have sorted this teddy bear at least 3 times. Naughty bear."

My husband wasn't nearly as impressed as he should have been. Next time he can clean. And I'll sit back and laugh as my children rip the place apart as he goes.

Stand Down ~ Pregnancy in Progress

2005-11-30T13:25:00.000-05:00

Stupid things to say to a raging, hormonal pregnant chick. Take note please.

Q. How are you feeling?
A. OK I guess...kind of queasy at times.
The REAL answer: What do you mean how do I feel? I have to pee. All. The. Time. I wanna eat, and then puke. Repeat the process. Nothing fits me. May I now kick your ass for asking?

Q. Was this baby planned?
A. No. A complete but happy surprise.
The REAL answer: No, a happy surprise, but I still feel like crap no matter how happy we are. Refer to question one.

Q. Is this going to be your last?
A. Probably.
The REAL answer: My first was our last. And then our second was last. Now this is our last. So yes it's our last.

Q. Can I touch your belly?
A. *insert akward pause* Uh, yeah, OK.
The REAL answer: Thanks for asking first. The last guy that didn't ask first...well don't ask...And sure it's OK. But hurry it up, I've got things to do and people to see. And well...can I touch your belly?

Q. Are you going to find out the sex?
A. No. We want to be surprised when the baby is born.
The REAL answer: Of course we're going to find out the sex...the kid can't stay in there forever. We have to find out at some point, right?

Q. Do you have names picked out? (I've asked this one myself...)
A. Yes...
Q. Will you share with us? (I've also asked myself this one...kicks self swiftly)
A. We're keeping it a secret this time.
The REAL answer: Yes we've got names picked out but we're secretly paranoid you'll steal our baby's name and claim it as your own. Baby name thief...asking if we've got names...*mumbles incoherently*

Q. When are you due?
A. *insert due date here*
Q. Really? Are you sure?
A. Yes. I'm positive.
Q. Oooohhh maybe it's twins.
The REAL answer: You're calling me fat aren't you?

Bring on the Queasies.

2005-11-24T11:46:00.000-05:00

Not too many posts as of late. Feeling icky icky icky. Nothing better than morning sickness with two toddlers in diapers still. Yuck. Stay tuned. Hope to be feeling better soon.

~ the "is it too many donuts or is she pregnant?" stage ~

2005-11-18T08:50:00.000-05:00

Ahhh. The inbetween stage. I've described it before as...far too small for maternity. But far too bloated for my "make my butt look fabulous jeans". It's not even baby making me fat. It's the dreaded bloat. Any pregnant woman is with me on this. I sit here with my fat (not phat as I would hope) jeans on and I just had to undo the buttons. Geesh. And it's only going to worsen. The next 6 weeks will be filled with looks from strangers wondering to themselves...is she pregnant? Or has she just had a few too many donuts? In my case it's bound to be a bit of both.

The old thinking of...
1st pregnancy...you want to get into maternity clothes as soon as you see those 2 pink lines.
2nd pregnancy...you hold off on maternity clothes as long as possible.
3rd pregnancy...your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

I don't know who hypothesized that. But it had to be someone who has been pregnant thrice over. Because I wholeheartedly agree.

I remember the utter excitement of buying maternity clothes with my first. Lovingly washing and ironing and wearing them even though they kept falling off because I had no real belly to show. And then with my second, I dragged them from the box in the crawlspace at 12 weeks...made sure they didn't look terrible or smell like crawlspace. And then proceeded to throw on a pair of overalls that my then one year old threw up on within an hour of putting them on. And it didn't even phase me.

This time I've already pulled out the maternity stuff. Just to make sure it isn't holey. I'm sure I'll be wearing it within the next 2 months. I'm already wearing my husbands shirts and pj pants. Hey...function over fashion. That's my new motto. Well that and...where are the donuts?

Two Pink Lines

2005-11-17T10:51:00.000-05:00

Two pink lines means you're pregnant. It seems simple enough. But seeing two pink lines just once is not enough. So it's two pink lines...twice. And then two blue plus signs. Four positive pregnancy tests. You'd think I'd get it then. But I felt the compulsion to pee on a stick at least one more time. And yes...still positive. I'm pregnant. Knocked up. With child. In a family way. I'm having a baby. My third baby. He or she is scheduled to arrive July 22nd, 2006. This is going to be one hell of a journey.